we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
