He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
