Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
