...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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