You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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