you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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