I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i can't believe i had my finger in that
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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