so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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