You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
