Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
