On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
