Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
