dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
