I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
