my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
