Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
