Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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