He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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