i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
