At least make sure they are 18
Why
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
