I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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