dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We have started to decorate penises.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
