ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
