It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
