He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
