you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
