You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's rum buckets o'clock
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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