HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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