You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
