im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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