so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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