i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
