Apparently you make a good broom.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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