He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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