We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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