a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
