hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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