She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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