Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
did i walk over a car last night?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
