I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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