I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
