i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
