did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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