You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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