I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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