oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
