I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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