I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
