I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
