two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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